Lets go to the mall and pick up some fat chicks and take them out tonight so we can be the skinny friends
She looked kinda like Mario Batali?
I think east. Tornado watch. What the fuck are you doing in Texarkana?
Bonnaroo. Tornado watch? Expand on that thought.
Watch for tornadoes.
i havent had this much fun since the last time i farted and it created a boner.
he yelled "RELEASE THE KRAKEN" then hit me with his dick
i don't know how the hand towel got involved, but i peed all over it
my fake id says im a 34 yr old russian lady ... how is this working
Now that I've lowered my makeout age to 21 I have a whole new sea to fish in.
When the doctor said the anal leakage might not be reversible without some lifestyle changes you start asking if it's worth the entertainment value.
there is a video of me from last night trying to light my breath on fire. that drunk.
Do you ever feel like a plastic bag?!
I have nothing to say for myself. When 2chainz comes on at the bar all bets are off.
THIS CHICK IS LIKE SOME SORT OF HOOKER HOUDINI.
Honestly I'm not even that excited to see my boyfriend. I'm more excited to see his penis. His penis inside of me.
I spent half an hour sculpting my pubes into a perfect triangle of really short hair, and the first thing he said when he saw it was "Don't you think you need a shave?"
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