wake up i wanna do it froggy style
Hey baby girl when you gonna let my tongue get up in that ass like i'm an explorer trying to go deep under on a quest for the lost city of atlantis
your text was fucking rediculious. Will let you eat my asshole though.
My parents just checked my browsing history and now think I'm addicted to porn and am a necrophiliac. 1: I know it was you. 2: You're so dumped, that shit is sick.
My facebook horoscope today said I will have a little "confusion". Obviously astrology understands a blackout.
We don't have a lot of plans besides weed and cake
After a couple hours you decided you were going to walk home but ten minutes later you called and said you'd puked by the side of the road and you needed us to drive you to the art museum.
I think I was using my hair to catch my vomit last night.
You were.
"guaranteed dick" "anywhere - her room, my room, trees, couch"
Sorry that was quotes about you from the grad student.
U offered to motor boat her and it somehow turned into u two going on a sunset cruise in Newport. At 3am.
They shoved things up my nose I feel violated
That freshman kid successfully snuck into a college party, got caught, proceeded to jump out of a second story window without getting a scratch then met up with us a block away and somehow managed to get a bottle of grey goose in the meantime. He is truly blessed by the alcohol gods
In a bar surrounded by couples hooking up. I'm just staring at one. Not drunk enough. Come save me.
Do you think next time you could control the yawn? Kind of a buzzkill to be mid-orgasm and see you yawning over there.
He was an asshole the entire night and then tried to touch my dick in a Michaels craft store.
Sooooo, no second date?
dollar rum and cokes, see you on the dark side of infinity
Randomize
