Texts From Last Night · Random Texts

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(810): View more from Michigan

i know ur right I'm sorry I'm stupid and incompitent look I can't even spell incompetent right! Fuck!

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(503): View more from Oregon

New rule: no balls on the kitchen counter.

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(206): View more from Washington

And i laid in the yard with carrots on my chest cause i wanted a bunny

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(641): View more from Iowa

Ok, gonna go sleep cuz my brain wants to be smart and not follow my pussy into the danger zone

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(317): View more from Indiana

I gave the naked guy in the hotel a pop tart. He stopped crying.

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(920): View more from Wisconsin

I started having a bad trip because I closed my eyes and got lost in a forest of patterns and I knew my mom would be upset.

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(613): View more from Ontario

I'm beer bonging chocolate fondue. That's how my Valentines Day is going.

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(810): View more from Michigan

Omg cinnamon bun Oreos. Thanks weed

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(317): View more from Indiana

Does sending her to the conference instead of a competent employee and putting her in a suite make up for banging her husband behind her back?

(1-317): View more from Indiana

No, but she’ll have a nice memory when she gets dumped and fired on the same day.

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