Shit chicky whatchu wearin rt now, ur skins?
Oh dear, kinda... in ur sweats!
U look good, r we getting naked in ur car?
oh posh. I need a real boy. To fill my void. This guy has potential. He is a Republican.
***** and i were talking about Republicans today. They are usually the champs of mediocrity but we decided mediocrity is underrated.
Fun fact: when I ripped off my wristband, I punched myself in the face. Rad
textsfromlastnight.com keeps rejecting me
that alone proves you never get laid, nor have a life.. or have anything funny to contribute to the world.
the people of mcdonalds are all starring at me & this dude like they know we just slept together
she said "feliz nobby job" then proceeded to give me a blowjob.
Woke up and there was a kayak in the pool. Are you alive?
i think you may have a shot to cock block in a moment. just saying.
Wake up an cock block please bc these are noises i dont ever want to hear again
to improve your porn experience, just imagine a slow speaking older English man narrating it all like a Nature documentary
This hickey is now green and covers half my neck. I have an alien hickey. I think he thought my neck was dinner.
alright well Taco Bell Closes at 12 so you better pray to god she's asleep by then or I'm running in your house butt ass naked with a bag of tacos
She said "I feel like I haven't reached my full potential" and I couldn't figure if she meant in life or with the weed..
I broke another vibrator the other day. Abstinence is not for me.
Do you lock your house? Serious question, I need to know if I can add it to my list of emergency poop stops
Drinks have officially taken priority over self-respect, and I'm not even all that torn up about it.
Randomize
