Congratulations on your moose knuckle.
Thank you. Really, it was an honor just being nominated.
Send us your Text From Last Night!
you dont have to exercise, you threw up last night!
Me too. I'd like to spend all next summer high and drunk and riding ponies and boys.
You're the host. Of course you wear the diaper. It's like wearing the pants.
she'd have to be at LEAST a cup size bigger for me to even consider putting up with her voice
For some reason, Oliver from Hannah Montana reminds me of pudding.
My Nuvaring birth control makes me queef.
He kissed a someone with a penis
how do you have sooo much energy?
billy mays threw in a lil somethin extra when i ordered some oxiclean last week
too bad they don't have a 'people you may be able to do' thing on facebook. it would save me a lot of fucking time.
i take joy in having bigger boobs than others
I'm pretty sure the new "vibrating mascara" is just a disguised dildo for those of us who are too ashamed to purchase a real one.
Well, at least their eye lashes will look good while they masturbate shamefully.
We put her face under a blacklight.....it looked like fireworks
and everytime i fart i feel like in your heart, you can hear it
i wonder if detective benson from law and order takes those handcuffs home. i bet she does.
nothing says platonic group sex like a campfire and smores
idk, i just don't think periods are something you can catch in a little cup.
You make homosexuality sound like a cult.
Thats a flattering suggestion doug but lets be clear NO you may not put your face in my vagina just because ur not charging me a cover. sorry.
i love rice pilaf. whoever invented that i would give them a hug.
I may or may not be laying in bed naked watching The Nanny. Niles is so spunky.
Had sex with him. My tampon is now in my brain. May need surgery.
Disadvantage of being gay..... my gag reflexes makes trying to make myself throw up extremely difficult.
Gentlemen...shes not going to tie her self to the table...
Yeah. I hotboxed a windbreaker.
eating raw peppers to burn the taste of semen out of my mouth
the only difference between me and a prostitute was that i complained a lot more.
Update: Discussing lingerie with my father. He likes sheer black things. Not into the colorful stuff I wear.
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