Tell him ill love him long time
I'll assure him of it
i am already firmly committed to doing irish carbombs w/ 12 different people, and the st pattys day party doesnt start for another 24 hours. i may die
when does it stop being whiskey dick and start just being me bad in bed?
I literally had to tap out of the blow job. It was like a pornographic wrestling match
Outta milk. Using rum instead for pancake mix. Drunk Thursday is a gooo
The last thing I remember is trying to split my bridesmaid dress down the back like the incredible hulk.
and you succeeded.
It was honestly the most delicious alcohol I've ever drank, plus the added risk of going blind from methanol poisoning really enhanced the experience.
somehow a sneeze triggered me puking over everyone in the car
Yea, you were talking about how you did not want to be a reindeer for at least 5 minutes.
Ugh. This is the type of hangover that all other hangovers want to grow up to be.
Bro, she used the potato bongs to make French fries after. She's deff a keeper.
Has anyone ever blacked out at an art show your dad brought you to?
I want to start a guest book for my bed room so when dudes leave they can write a review
He’s over 6 feet has amazing posture and went to Harvard and has an awesome job and a great dick and loves Jesus and is an organ donor
Is this the guy you have listed as free food in your phone
Noooo he’s listed as free food #5
Used my power pack to charge my vibrator so I didn't have to unplug my switch or my galaxy lamp. TECHNOLOGY!
Randomize
