Just got done shaving my balls. You were right.
What are you doing?
High. Watching Billy Mays infomercials...
That guy could sell me cancer.
I wish everyone walked around campus with a video of what they did this weekend above their heads.
I don't know. The next thing I remember we were in the walmart parking lot making out.
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If I could have all the money back from the pregnancy test i've bought- I could buy myself a vacation.
Or a large amount of condoms?!?
Don't tell me wow. Tell me this is normal for college and in no way am I a whore.
I have a cup of vodka in my bathroom with a straw in it. Yes, I am ready for this bikini wax.
Once two people had broken bones it had become a bulk hospital trip so we took the party bus
I don't listen when you talk. I just try to find new creative ways to get you to send me naked pictures.
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Get in your clown car, pick up everyone you know, and head to the park. drunk Sledding grand prix tonight. winner takes home the leftover beer
No just a slight sexual miscommunication which led to a little (lot) vomiting by one party and a bruised sternum on the other party involved.
I can't even make a guess how that goes.
WHY DO I KEEP FINDING CHICKEN THROUGHOUT THE HOUSE? GET YOUR ASS HOME NOW!
he yelled at me like a drill sergeant while I quickly tried to take off my pants
I continue to impress myself. Also I'm probably pregnant
So then I got so stoned I sat and took my pulse for 10 minutes.
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