sometime during the course of last night, i decided to get donuts for this morning. i'm a fucking genius when i smoke.
but she was nice to me.
She was a fuckin STRIPPER.
you scanned your fake to get into the dorm last night and when the lady told you it was the wrong card you looked at her and said this is who i am thursday night
I think I'm cybering, it's been a while and its more in depth than it was in 8Th grade.
I dont know if he should be happy or mad about it but he's too big for a blow job.
at the topless march for equality..and wow.not all these boobs should be treated equally
I'm going to get so drunk tonight, I actually feel bad about the 30 seconds of drunken awkward sex I'm going to have with one lucky fat chick.
There's a 24 hour period after giving head where you can't eat penis shaped food without me laughing at you
I just dropped macaroni right down my cleavage. For the sake of our future, I'm really banking on this being a turn on for you.
I just puked so hard I pissed myself. Outta my ass. I just won hangover of the century.
She was covered in mud grabbed my crotch and said see that handprint that means I called dibs
when I was walking home I wad so excited to see a cat on the sidewalk but it was really a traffic cone
There is blood all over my sheets and no discernible source.
Im drinking a CAN of bud light at the bar. Do you really think I care anymore?
tell me about the fingering
Randomize
