I just found out the guys at work had a bet as to who could sleep with me before i move away.
Who won?
All of them.
just got cropdusted by the delivery guy...this was not in my job description.
He wanted me to blow him while he was playing guitar hero. there will not be a second date
I wouldn't necessarily call it an addiction, more of a passion. I'm habitually passionate.
I just said that Oprah is crazy and like 5 fat white girls jumped down my throat. I sat back and smiled.
I dont know how to say this. But the hottest girl where im at has one arm.
Thanks for the drunken voicemail of bird calls. Love and miss you, too.
We have to use a contraceptive. God help the world if another one of us comes into fruition.
Hey. Be honored that I consider you the genital expert. I know alot of candidates for the position.
Dude she gave you head while I was in the closet, we've passed the "awkward" phase.
But the drunk streaking fizzled when one of jake's friends took a piss while running with a massive erection.
Apparently I tried my hand at mustard juggling. I wasn't very good.
Well ill be drunk so just come find me. Its like where in the world is Joey San Diego
I don't think it counts as a booty call at 6:30 pm.
YOU'D BE LIKE A MERMAID! I'll bring you coffee filters to cover your tits.
Randomize
