Are we in a gay sports bar?
i just made my gag reflex go away.
Your braces fetish is going to end up biting you in the dick.
I didn't plan on sleeping with him until he told me his mom is deaf.. Then I felt bad.
I probably looked like a mental patient. I had my IV in one hand and cup of pee in the other, swaying around with a dazed grin on my face. I love vicodin.
i ordered a pipe on amazon, and under recommended items, it gave me a top hat. it knows me better than my parents.
So he says to my dad "I'll pull out of your daughter but I'm not going to apologize". Yea, my night was fun.
Walked in the bathroom at work and my boss was taking a shit with the stall wide open and responded "oh yeah, I forgot you never have been to prison "
Yes but funny for a 45 year old hell bent on reliving her college days by giving body shots and hand jobs. Not necessarily in that order
This isn't good. I can't find my mom. This is why we don't give her Fireball.
It's like those toothpaste commercials where 4 out of 5 dentists would recommend your vagina
My Easter dress smells like alcohol, men, and bad decisions
I was not drunk. There was Star Wars, sex, and baby oil.
just had an allergic reaction to my dildo. My life is ruined.
You said you're gonna end your night with a six pack and awful erotica
Randomize
