Do you think there is vodka in heaven?
you let me eat a milky way from your vagina. G is not lettin you hang out for eternity
Fun fact of the day the average american will consume 13248 beers in their lifetime.
So for us it's double that?
Precisely.
Haha im sorry. Its just financially responsiable to bang him instead of you right now.
he opened up his "box of magic": a crusty tube of KY jelly, three expired condoms, a fingertip vibrater, and a jar of marshmallow fluff.
I don't know where my bra went.
Welll you ran into the street, took it off and yelled "I'm a free woman!". And then you threw it at some homeless guy.
He is passed out on the kitchen floor. He will fight you if you disturb him. Just a warning.
I CAME AT YOU WITH RAW FEELING
you grabbed my dick through my pants and hissed at me.
I dunno... But she calls vodka "dancing juice"
that's probably because you left your arm in the fishtank for 90% of the night
I have her designated blowjob hair tie on my wrist. It's like a key to eternal happiness
I am broke enough to accept it. If I get poisoned, you can have my shoes
He passed out again after sex. I've hidden all his clothes. There's no way he is sneaking out in the morning this time!
My dreams last night were filled with sex and quidditch.
Dude just saw some some guy puke out of a car window on the highway going to school.
Trust me, I’ve got a sixth sense about dicks that tells me if a guy knows how to fuck and it’s tingling. You need to prove me right!
I’m not going to bang him just to confirm your Dickth Sense
The Dickth Sense!!! I love it! It’ll be our first porno!
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