where am i from again
Her vagina is like Vegas. high traffic and full of glitter.
ok watching intervention on tv. when i hit rock bottom - i wanna be THIS chick.
Fuck him. I'll set him on fire for you. Then we'll see how good of a firefighter he is.
At least our walk of shames never included a bag of chips and a jar of queso..
I want something that's relevant to him banging her right after I did. Like "runner-up"
i wanna pet his head its so fluffy. were gonna open a petting zoo
Ever find yourself wondering if your life is God's way of telling a joke?
What are you talking about?! I shot gunned a monster while simaltaneously blowing gym boy Todd. If I'm not the poster child for being well rounded and versatile I have no idea what NYU is looking for
he asked me to lick his asshole and I told him his girlfriend could do that for him
Why Weren't you wearing pants?
because pants are for people with no imagination
Oh yeah, found out i got it from my boyfriend's wife. Thanks though.
You shut your whore mouth, we don't talk about Drunk Nutella night.
It was great. He never spoke.
That's not why it was great, just that's all I remember.
drunk boyfriend and drunk me are NOT meant for each other
Randomize
