I think the phrase "bag of smashed assholes" describes it best
question: masturbation: how much is too much? I think i'm about to tip toe a fine line
i wish we had vans that drove around at night but insteand of ice cream and jolly tunes its taco bell and the macarena
Just walked by a guy on campus YELLING 'Im still hammered'
I don't know what he did but now I'm terrified of mustache rides and it's only movember 3rd
I distinctly recall there being a "I can't be dead 2maro" stipulation to going out last night. There's been a breech of contract
Found a pic of me suckling your nipple at the bar. Safe to say you don't want this one tagged?
Yeah. I realized I have a weakness for drugs and I need to move somewhere where I don't know how to find them.
We looked at pictures of a Texas banjo contest from 2006 for a half hour and then were surprised by who won. That stoned.
He's just a really nice guy who stuck his tongue in the wrong place.
He was sleeping, but the way he was made him look like an adorable, fuzzy penis
She had a cast on when I met her, but she blamed me for breaking her arm this morning. I'm gonna marry this girl.
Typing up notes at the bar and doing shots with the bartender until close on a Wednesday. This is what my second year of law school has become.
Dude I just clenched/unclenched my hindquarters while looking in the mirror I have fucking talent
are you still alive?
no.
i'll cry at your funeral. and leave a burrito by your tombstone
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