have you ever wondered what it would feel like to stick those coneheads in your vaj
omg every time its on
Problem: At home sick with a stomach virus. Solution: smoke weed all day...
Does the phrase 'traumatizing near-threesome' mean anything to you.
if youre pregnant and ruin my spring break i'll never forgive you.
I slept in bed with them the night they met. I once peed on the bride. And now I get to give a speech at their wedding. Piece of cake.
I'm taking a new approach to homewrecking... for science. Or I totally would. I have to see what happens between my ex & his brother when he finds out.
Dude you made a rodeo shot in beer pong won the game then got in the hot tub poured beer all over the side and screamed "hot tub time machine!"...
This hangover makes more sense now
I wanna die of smoke inhalation. In a huge teepee. Or one of those big things kids in kindergarten have that you throw up in the air then sit inside of.
Note for the future: whiskey syrup is AMAZING on 3am pancakes.
Dude. I'm super jealous I'm not there. Plus I look really pretty tonight, I'm wearing my long blue dress, I have long blonde hair, and I'm just sitting here hitting Larry the Long Bong. I'll pretend like your 3 spirits are floating in my smoke. Fuck.
I could just tape a camera with a live feed to my head & you could check in on me from time to time
You were asking her how her mother would feel if y'all dated, etc. And I was yelling at you your girlfriends name over and over again in between gags and sobs.
stoners and superglue do NOT mix
he was making out with her against the stove and started a fire--the thirst literally almost burned the place down!!
feeding cats lunchmeat on my kitchen floor. come pour me another shot.
Randomize
