Sweet. Might not hurt to poop on the floor anyway.
u know u need to get laid when watching mike wazowskis gf from monsters inc makes u horny
john hughes is dead. crushing any and all dreams of me ever being in an 80's john hughes film. bummer.
Whatever. They have the same name, so it's not even cheating. It's brand loyalty.
So chef boyardee smells exactly the same after you throw it up
i literally discovered the exact same thing last week. i had the lasagna one
ravioli
is drinking for groundhog day legit?
well you blacked out on MLK day and we pregamed arbor day, so yes
we are cloud gazing and there is one that looks like a giant baby riding a dolphin and smoking a joint
i wish there was a reasonable explanation for why this reminds me of you
I just had a 30 minute fake cell phone conversation with myself just to avoid hooking up with the drunk guy next to me. its like an art form.
He just told me that when we were doing it I told him I was the captain and he was the boat. Im too embarassed to ask for money for a cab.
Our neighbors just passed us a blunt from their deck, and are hooking us up.
I just baked them cookies. We're friends now.
And tell the hostess not to worry, she's narcoleptic and fell asleep on the way to the bar, but she'll be fine in a few minutes.
I was chasing pulls of fireball with bites of a bagel and yelling at people to take tequila shots with me. I shouldn't be allowed to go out alone.
Yeah but him not going to be sleeping in your sink this time.
I guess you never know how much of an impact you have on someone until you sleep with their cousin
Tell me that I didn't just get ash in my Russian and just mix it TF in bc who cares and life has no meaning.
Randomize
