I hate when people uglier than me have girlfriends
My grandma paid her handyman in pain killers. I now know why this is in my genes
I was desperate so I downed my birth control with balsamic vinaigrette...
Down at Ground Zero right now. So many people here. It's the most patriotic game of grabass Ive ever seen.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Omg, looked at my call history, and judging by the times of calls it took me like half hour to walk home frommcds
Yeah. It's a great diet plan tho. Just have sex every time you get hungry.
I found your wallet in my underwear drawer......... Don't worry I don't plan on asking any questions
We proceeded to buy tattoos from the dollar store and interpretive dance to of monsters and men, it's safe to say he's my new fuck buddy
they knew we were both to shy to do anything so they got us drunk and locked us in the back yard with a tent. it was fuck or freeze
you have the best friends
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
The fact that I took a nap during my midterm shows exactly how I handle being an adult
I found a blow up pig at an adult store. He will have to fuck that on video if he wants anal. Also, I bought a pair of clear high heels. Tell your brother I love him.
I have a 8 minute video of a fish tank on my phone.
We need to stop going to pet stores high.
A huge penis doesn't warm the soul. Or that's what I've had to tell myself.
Feel free to drag me back to reality at your convenience
We should write a country song: “Blacked Out on a Sunday”
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