The guy next to me is watching porn. EVERYTIME I COME TO THE LIBRARY SOME RANDOM GUY NEXT TO ME LOOKS AT PORN.
I wish i could go to google and type in drug dealers and it would bring up a number, a product and direction
he's having a long distance Facebook-coordinated power hour. the status update has 159 comments ...
She had a muffin-top while wearing a one piece bathing suit. Thats gotta break one of newton's laws or something
There's a paramedic out here, what have you done?
Puked in the hotel lobby and just kept walking. I love mardi GRAS.
We were fucking on his hammock and right as he came we flipped over. I landed on him, he landed on a pile of pinecones. We're done with nature sex.
He just laughed at his drink laid on the floor and crawled to the bathroom
Aw lol. Sounds like my masturbation injury last year
this just proves how much faith i have in "us".. what should we be for halloween..?
admittedly, it's a little weird getting relationship advice from the mother of a former one night stand. but she's a wise lady and she buys me drinks, so i'm ok with it.
Know of anyone who would be interested in trading weed for meatballs?
I just windexed my mirror headboard, Lets get to work.
Why are there jello shots in the kitchen drawer?
You asked for 4 things: your phone, your wallet, your keys and your denture. I stopped asking questions.
Randomize
