Come back if u want to. I'll do some dirty shit to u mamacita.
There was so much of it... it was like he poured a bowl of pudding on my face. It's not bad for your hair is it?
high people should be assigned attendants
thought i was the most hungover person in class until i saw a kid puke into his bookbag...he wins
still using moms red Christmas cookie plate she sent to cut lines on. not sure I can return with a clear conscious
oh you know, the usual stuff. getting kicked out of bars and sleeping in cars.
I mean he gave me an 'I owe you an orgasm' fist bump
I feel like we should apologize to the light saber. We were REALLY inappropriate with it last night.
Something about finishing sexting a guy and him going "well. I have to get ready for Passover now" really makes me rethink my life choices
Alex I've come up with a new medical condition. dick depression. it's a real thing and I have it
the hot lifeguard just pulled a McDonald's cheeseburger out of her fanny pack.
he's smothering me... and not in the good, can you move your thigh off my face please?.. way
He is a beautiful butterfly covered in tattoos and naked.
He burst in the bathroom while I was peeing to hand me my beer I was looking for earlier tht night. And my pants were already down so I thought why not
Did I tell you I drunk fucked my one roommate last week
Uh no
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