Just got yelled at by a priest...again.
I am good. I dancing. Drinking but dancing fine.
i think my mom watched the whole time
The visine ive been using for four yrs expired. in sept. of 2001.....i will never question my eye problems again.
Feels weird sitting between two guys who've had their heads between my legs in a 24 hour span.
I made him go down on me for 40 mins then pretended to pass out. I swear, I'm like a boy.
The good news is the house is clean, the bad news is someone redecorated the bonus room by spray painting "free willy" on the wall in honor of the girl who passed out in there last night.
I have no idea where I am, where my pants are, there is cheese stuck to my ass.. Why do I have your phone?
shot for shot with some guy twice your age to prove Detroit hustles harder then you left with him. We're tracking you
Best surprise in my car. A cookie, sliced kiwi and the rest of my margarita. Work is going to be awesome.
The Angel on my shoulder is now resorting to merely reminding me that, "You will regret this later." I'm not sure if he's learning how I think or just giving up. Either way, should make life a bit more interesting.
I just gave an orange Froot Loop the finger for falling on the floor instead of my mouth when I was pouring a mini box of cereal into my face.
You told me to keep you from drinking, but we both know I'm not that kind of friend.
You hit a new plane of existence as we all watched in awe
I thought my neighbors locked me out of the building. Then I remembered I was drunk. PUSH AND TURN.
An old Grimace plushie came to life and gave me a pretty knife. I'm never doing acid again.
Randomize
