I hraet yuo
did you say you heart me or hate me?
who is this?
so the situation is a+b=c where "a" is how much you weight, "b" is my gravitational pull, and "c" is how erect your penis is.
Just jerked off to Cameron Diaz in "My Sister's Keeper". New low.
I have decided today is drunk costume day. That is, i woke up still drunk and found costumes all over my floor. Heck yes. This is happening. Come over. Drink.
Atty had lunch with DA and confirmed I am not the target of the investigation. No word on anything else
Is it worth it to drive to a zoo with a high possibility of sex at said zoo?
I think they were making kool-aid in my bed. There is lots of sugar and my hands and face are stained blue.
Can I color on your dick again?
Mmhmmm. I have a list of drunk achievement that is almost as long as my list of stoned achievements
I'm still high with raccoon eyeliner eyes and chocolate all over my face and chest, clutching a mug of wine. Happy graduation.
Just participated in the saddest thing: Cheetos. Handjob. I have lost at life
so I found out I could dislocate my shoulders on demand while I was trippin on e last night...
I don't mean to crush your hopes and dreams but having sex IN the Stanley Cup isn't possible
I was legit late to work one day Bc it took me so long to get a good nude
Once you find out someone has a small dick, you never look at them the same again.
Randomize
