Just watched Hilary Duff have a three-some on Gossip Girl...all I could imagine was that LIzzie Maguire cartoon girl freaking out above their heads
my Econ professor just passed around his phone for us to take a pic of ourselves so he could learn our names. I am currently looking him up on my sex offenders app.
It never fails.. every time I have a dick in my mouth he calls me.
Thanksgiving. This year's theme: I am thankful that I still have a liver.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
And the horses in Central Park have blankets. And Rafiki just told me "it is time" in the back of our cab.
The less fucks you give, the more fucks you get. Kinda like "a penny saved is a penny earned" but with vagina.
please come upstairs a drunk asian is lying down n the middle of my room and i don't know him
Went to the elf storage building to help him get his old dresser. Found his brother's stash in the drawer and ended up passed out w him on the mattress in there instead.
my human sexuality class is the only class where the porn i watch the night before is relevant to the discussion the next day
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
By god, his vagina is better looking than mine.
I woke up naked in this guys bed and the first thing I start saying is it's super bowl Sunday like I was yelling
Drunk you needs to learn how to call sober me, so sober me can talk your drunk vagina down.
I'm trying to imagine how upset he was when he realized that he had been cockblocked by a picture of a sloth and I am drawing indescribable pleasure from it.
You don't have to buy me dinner, watch tv or even hang out if you don't want. Just fuck.
Sorry I didn’t really get to say goodbye last night I was busy vomiting in your fathers front yard
Randomize