6:33 AM: I'm drunk at this time of morning.
Reasons why i shouldn't be drunk and upset: i'm going to a boy's
Can I have the boy from 16 and pregnant's next baby???
He has been begging me for a Bj but doesnt want to get mono
How is he gunna get mono? is he gunna suck on his dick after you?
Just gave advice in krystal burger while holding and pointing with a corona to a 3 year old, told her to enjoy her stroller time while it lasts. The mom pushed her away fast.
Can you come over to my place and make up for the crap you called sex yesterday?
Good morning to you
He kept saying 'your mouth is Amazing' even after I was on his dick.
He adopted an old drug sniffing dog so that he won't lose his weed around the house anymore. It works.\n
oh my god i'm in a crawl space
I'm sweating so much right now i look like Whitney Houston
So far, my day has been sparkling with the tears of a thousand rainbow unicorns. I'd say this is quality shit you've grown.
My fridge broke, and apparently the back is missing. The repair guy just fixed it with a pizza box. I didn't ask where the box came from, but it wasn't mine. Reason #20 why rent is cheap.
I swear to god, if you fuck the hot one you're paying me back for the shot I just bought her
I'm eating hummus off of my stomach right now.
I truly wish I could say I pulled my groin straddling our cab driver but unfortunately I cannot
Randomize
