with her its the mind over matter factor, i dont mind and she dont matter
you turned on the Care Bears movie at 5am and kept screaming "I CARE"
You know whats sad? As I walk past the campus daycare i cant help think, look at those drunk mistakes
In the middle of fucking me, she said "Hold on, I need my Hulk hands."
He's just a really nice guy who stuck his tongue in the wrong place.
they paper machayed me.
i told you ... never pass out drinking with preschool teachers.
Invited the whole bar back to my place for an after party.....shit got real with everyone seeing dad drink moonshine like a champ.
Do they still have sex clubs in San Francisco? Because that'd be an interesting way to spend Easter.
I'm slowly getting to where I don't hate people anymore.
Never mind. Some random dude just walked past me and asked if I was having fun. I snarled at him. I might still kinda hate people.
Well there's a microwave in my yard now too. I fucking Bruce/Caitlyn Jennered decathloned that bitch.
Considering we almost incited a riot on behalf of LGBT rights I have to say that was the best time for our moral compass to turn south.
my gynecologist gave me a high 5 for not getting any STD's since my last visit and said "Way to go Annabeth!" you have twenty seconds to get to my level
I don't blame you. I made YouTube videos of me singing Rent songs then slept with a married couple. Fucking tequila.
In case you're wondering... Yes walmart will judge you for buying vodka and pickles at 645am.
I got a 93 percent on my last mid term and I was drunk. Think of the possibilities if i were sober for the one thats tommorrow.
Randomize
