dude chill. it wont be anything like your seventh grade birthday party.
He kissed my cheek and I could smell it the whole way home like shit
we tried to pick out bridesmaid dresses with pockets so we could sneak flasks in with us. what the fuck is the point of a dry wedding?
The cardboard box in my backseat wasn't strong enough to keep your pee contained. Come clean my car.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Made it home ok. Only got hit by one car.
This is America. Deny every slut accusation or own up to it
You sent me a cat video and you screaming drunkenly in my background
So your contact has been changed to "jizz weave" in my phone. Now, as strange and random as that may be, I'm slightly embarrassed to say that I have more than one contact that fits that description so please identify yourself.
Crying while listening to Miley Cyrus. BE GLAD YOU JUMPED THIS SINKING SHIP!
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm fine with our borderline lesbian behavior.
I'm over here willing to be the Yoda of fucking but I guess he just doesn't want to be a Jedi.
I woke up to find I still had sequins under my tits. I'd say Sunday was a success.
All right well I’m making her sugar cookies and sleeping with her husband tonight. Just another manic Monday
hypothetically, what's the best method to remove an stray semen gob from a roommate's important school document?
ok, muffins say "love me", waffles say "fuck me", got it.
Randomize