doooooooo herrrrrrrrr
I'm out of practice. be my yoda
put your penis in her you must.
is it sad that i think every plant i pass on the highway looks like a plant from farmville?
Im sending over a girl who thinks youre in the next twilight movie
your the best winggirl ever
You were absolutely insistent that the entire bar knew that it was peanut butter jelly time
I shouldn't have had sex with her. I feel that I may have opened a pandora's vagina
OMG stoned with flashing lights behind me, I was freaking out until I realized I wasn't driving my couch
Unintentionally made him cum in his own mouth, and he just sat there screaming..
all I remember is repeatedly winking at the fire marshall while he was counting the people in the bar
You were carrying around a milk crate, randomly putting it down calling out 'praise be to the milk gods' and making people pray to it.
In complete seriousness I think I am the highest person on earth
2 reasons we need to wear those onesies to the bar more ofter 1) comfy as shit 2) we both still got laid\n\nHow can you resist that kinda night?
seriously, i never want to drink Robitussin again. her face was melting as i tried to convince her i wasnt high and i probably would have fucked ray. his parents thought i was a sweet charming lesbian.
This is why you are not allowed out in public.
He said he "doesnt care at all, really" if I shave my legs or not. Challenge accepted.
Can I put tequila in the fish bowl? I think he wants to party too
I'm no doctor but I don't think balls are supposed to look like that.
Randomize
