...there is blood under my fingernails.
...I hope my roomates are okay.
i'm starting to get really nervous about the relationship i have with my cat
i wanna anger bang this girl behind me at work. she never shuts up with her annoying voice. but her boobs are phenom.
Thank you blackberry messenger, for giving me a way to sext faster and more efficiently
NExt question... Do i wanna sleep under my palm tree
YES.
I mean if she was naked in my room I would talk to her
I really wish I had added "blowjob on a slide at a playground" to my bucket list before last night.
It never makes you rethink your life choices when you're breaking into my apartment at 3 am to take a piss in my kitchen sink?
I deleted my history right in front of my girlfriend w/out her seeing. Let's go skydiving with no parachutes. I can live thru anything.
He was spooning with the dog when I came home. Now shes afriad to go near him. Should I ask?
So wait. Let me get this straight lol... you... are are considering offering fetish services to "trample and own" someone for $80 in order to pay for someone to come organize ur shit? Pure genius.
So I just bought e from my sophomore home ec teacher. How's your weekend going?
Im going to hell I gave him a handjob on the plane next, to an old guy playing video games on his iPad, on good friday.
we just smoked for like ten hours and got froyo. not a bad start to the weekend.
It's almost sad. It's like the Harambe of vagina stories really.
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