She said her name was "party"
Whatever my ex gf's roomates talked shit about me so I jizzed in their shampoo bottle one night
Fact: Godrick looks like David Archuleta
i took an adderall last night to write a paper. i ended up watching 7 hours of roseanne and couldn't look away
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
dude you guys. You can't throw up in the recycling bin. I don't think vomit is recyclable
everyone at work keeps looking at me like they know I got the herp this weekend
I gotta find new tactics tho. There's just so many tied up dicks one can look at before part of your soul dies.
at the end of the day, college isnt gonna be for everyone... and some of us are just going to have to learn how to breathe underwater while sucking cock.
My boss walked in on me puking in the urinal while taking a piss. Sunday funday is eroding my last shred of credibility at work.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
If you were a good friend you would take the nipple tassels off me before the ambulance comes.
I just dried my bra with your hair straightener because the drier is broken again.
Well, I was asked to leave the Waffle House for "being to physical" so I think that option is off the table
So last night, I bought mother's day cards and the Plan B pill.
UPDATE: THERE IS ASS EATING. I REPEAT: THERE IS ASS EATING.
I just recommended that the library purchase the first major hentai with tentacle porn. Really, I'm doing everyone a favor.
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