Yo, if someone calls you asking for John Stamos, just go with it.
remind me in the morning to get the random kid out of the closet and to clean the pudding off the wall
We need to stop celebrating holidays that dont belong to us
were lost, were cold and we don't know what to do with the stray cat we found.
only clue right now is the orange grease all on my clothes. debit card denied so I know something weird went down..
Hahaahaah I keep finding little notes you left me on my physics notes... "TOO HIGH FOR BIRDS"
How could you give up sex for lent? I gave up religion for lent years ago and never looked back. Or give up civility, not sex.
Nothing is better than seeing someone you fucked go to the Olympics. I feel so American.
well he got me up crazy early but i got pizza for breakfast and an electric blanket to sleep with sooo he passed the one night stand test.
Was so close to hoppin on it but then I realize it's not a dick and I needed to keep walking. Primal instincts.
I just drove my booty call to his booty call, if that isn't spreading the love, I don't know what is.
Dry heaving on campus is my new low. Also, go pats
I'm like a freaking volcano of life and sexual frustrations
He just flipped the beer pong table and set the ceiling fan on fire things are about to get crazy
However, pretty glad I spent the night puking on my car instead of fucking him. Then I'd REALLY be miserable.
Randomize
