I'm basically sure i was the reason for glitter on his penis
just woke up to overhearing her on the phone saying "yeah we fucked last night, that makes 42." should i get tested?
well i fucked her too, so yes.
My valentine's day: watching The Notebook, and porn, eating chocolate, and ice cream. All while jacking off.
Wow... you've managed to cover all of the sad girl stereotypes that exist.
I just realized I use Twitter to keep of track of when I get drunk.
Bad news is he broke up with me via text message
But the good news is I've returned as mayor of whoreville
Mom said you looked used
Boys should be on-demand - like, once you select one, he's yours for the next 24-hours
WTF DUDE?
Stay calm. I'm sure there's a heterosexual explanation for this
are you just inviting me because you can't afford an actual stripper?
Opted for cash back rather than the 10% extra I'd get for store credit, solely for drinks tonight.
You're lovely.
i will not be out-irished. not this night. if i don't wake up tomorrow handcuffed to a hospital bed, i have failed my ancestors.
sorry for showing your butt to the bar
sorry for licking your cheek
Being forward is somethimes a problems. Like in sexual deity Kong.
I think you’re losing coherence.
I am
He's UNCIRCUMCISED. And it curves. Two things I've never encountered in all my sluttiness and they're both on the hottest guy alive. :(
Just realized I've spent more nights sleeping on bathroom floors the last two weeks than in my own bed. It's time to reevaluate my life.
Randomize
