Nice meating you last night
Not a typo
Get out...Run...Or there's going to be a dick in your mailbox
she looks like someone took a bunch of spare parts and glued them all on one face. it's quite horrifying.
We're playing Big Buck Hunter to determine who buys the next pitchers. And they said video games wouldn't help me later in life
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Dignity is for republicans.
Let's go free Charlie Sheen and party with him
I wish there were birth control emojis
Just watched a guy get through airport security with a full bottle of captain morgan. In my head the entire airport cheered.
Please tell me you have Advil or Tylenol or ibuprofen or a fucking baseball bat
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Went outside and he was playing rock paper scissors with a cop over a drunk in public ticket.
You have to sext the same way you right a resume, you can only use active verbs
we're spending all day in bed drinking spiked eggnog and fucking
I'm eating a block of cheese like its a sandwich in the tsa line
I came twice and when I was done I petted his head and said "you did good kid you did good" and just laid back smiling. Tell me I'm not awesome.
A reminder in my phone just went off saying, "Fuck.On.Roof- the Great Bambino". This makes me excited and slightly nervous.
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