buying booze in bulk is always a bad idea. i wish there was some direct deposit-like system
mom just found 19 empty wine bottles in my closet. i hate spring cleaning
Dudeeeee, i ordered strippers for my party.
I ordered a moonbounce.
Fuck, you win.
in respone to your voicemail you left me on saturday, yes i had gone to bed and no i was not still drinking at 5am
Why do I have flashes of a dark shed in my memory?
Because we had sex in one.
No room in fridge, chilling wine in snow. Do NOT let the dog pee on it.
Definitely just said "no homo" to our gay waiter at Cheesecake Factory...our service has steadily declined since.
No no I got the black eyes when I tried to do a flip off the second deck of a pontoon boat. Actually when I did a flip, it was a success.
drunk. just smoked a spliff with a 19yr old hungarian bike taxi driver and bonded over the difficulties of getting weed in a different country. idk y shit like this isnt in the study abroad info packets
theres chocolate ground into my couch, nerds candy all over the floor and cocaine on every surface. great memorial day weekend and yours?
Still at home. Videotaping hamsters.
Today's hangover is probably top 3 of all time. Just threw up in an envelope. I'm on the ferry and didn't want to get out to puke over the side because I thought I might fall in the river.
I'm trying to get weird tonight. Like I want to see bitches crawling on all fours drinking milk from bowls and shit by 5 am. You down?
His dick is social distance approved
Social distance approved?
big enough for me to fuck from six feet away
I was a psycho gf all the time...I'm sorry
I was drunk 90% of the time...tit for tat
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