So you maybe wanna hang out again? I could use the $5
Whatever I can do to help stimulate the economy
We traveled between two mile markers in 18 seconds. Do the math.
would you consider him our boss?
technically yes
then technically i slept with our boss
because whats more american than sleeping with a westpoint cadet on the 4th of july?
We're cuddling on the couch that me and his brother had sex on...this feels wrong
Because it is about to snow, I sent him for Diet Coke and cigarettes. It's the gay version of milk and bread.
that girl from work that wants to bone me just said 'the last time i went this long without sex was in jail'. sup, red flag
So I woke up in a strange bed with a note taped to my arm giving me directions back to my brothers apartment.
We are getting high tomorrow and being statues at the cafeteria. Come find us.
I transported a midget tonight. He got beat up by another, midgetier midget. Is it bad that this is what makes me feel compassion after 15 years of being a paramedic?
Midgetier?
Smaller, yet meaner.
I didn't cheat on him. He just hasn't been informed of the open part of our relationship.
And all you did was hit on me and do things "for America", so you weren't judged heavily
While we were having sex he asked me if I wanted to get wingstop after. I think I found my future husband.
Drink water, eat food, and stop tazing yourself
I still dont see how i drunkenly impressed your mom
Randomize
