So after i got done, she went over and got out her gecko, I felt like I was in an X rated geiko commercial.
you ate skittles off the table like a hungry hungry hippo. it was awesome.
I love taking my adderall while im in class! As soon as I take the pill out everyone around me just stares in envy!
apparently i was just sitting there with my shirt down holding my boobs saying "its ok. its all gonna be ok"
Um I think everyone drunk and there's some douche on violin.
She told me she gets scared easily and that I had to protect her. Then I made a condom joke that ended up making her cry... All bad dude
Eating nacho cheese off the carpet. How is your morning?
I think I ruined his life by managing to get his initiation nickname for his frat to be "Whiskey Dick" but I still wish herpes on him and his fugly new girlfriend.
I was gonna drive but when i tried to use telekinesis to get my keys, I knew I shouldn't be driving
Eh. Fuck him. He's missing out. I'm legit naked and drinking straight from the bottle of wine.
Lemme put it this way babe, at point you were naked in Target.
Where were you?
Laughing
Definitely just threw up in a mcds cup going through Wendy's drive thru. I'm way to hungover to go to work today
I never truly understood the phrase ball is life until I started having to balance NBA finals and all these men with balls i'd like to handle.
i'm sitting in bed scratching my boobs and wearing a sparkly fedora and have no one to blame but myself
I just don't understand what you plan on accomplishing there except for losing all vestiges of post-freshman year dignity
Randomize
