we just stared at taco bell's menu on the website for 2 hours
only my mom would pack illegal paraphernalia in a care package..
Subtly mention that I'm not a lesbian. I would only go for rebecca's nipples because they're pierced and I like shiny things.
She tried to sit inside the drawer to my dresser and when it broke, she burst into tears calling herself fat. Too high to deal with this
uhh when the x-ray tec was moving your head you licked his hand and meowed.. i think he knew you weren't sober
Found plan b box covered with blood. In kitchen sick. Pickle jar is empty. Wtf happened?
All I want is to send a text that says "i slept with someone while wearing nothing but purple argyle socks this weekend." But the only person i would send that to is you. But you already know. Because they were your socks.
with a cock that big I don't even care that he makes a convincing drag queen
I think I maybe realized he was too old for me when I went into his bathroom and he had anti aging face cream.
We figured you were on something when you said that your nipples couldn't hear the music.
Am I getting cock blocked by karaoke? That's a first.
I have put on lipstick and signed up for class. Nothing more shall be expected of me today.
i told someone my fallback plan was to be a slutty bartender and i needed the practice as i straddled them to pour a shot
Sean just lit a cig with his taser..... I am in awe
I'm waiting for you in a manthong right now.
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