She was lying the whole time!
She was a great actress
I was a great dumbass
grilled cheese. we just shotgunned grilled cheese.
don't you miss freshman year when you could get away with "but i've never given a bj before..."
when i was alone, his dick was there for me...
Just remember that she is a giant dick-sucking forehead and you are better than that.
We just threw our carpet out of our room. Via fourth floor window style.
I've just never had a dinner guest strut in, go directly to my bathroom, vomit.. then come out demanding whiskey and food.
A talk about Arizona woman's rights politics has never turned to sex so quickly before.
Please brint me miilk. I am on the floor but my door is open. Thank you, i appreciate u verry much.
In 18 months of being married we've had sex with 7 different couples. Who said you can't have your cake and eat it.
Question: When you have the names of 4 guys tattoo'd on you, how do you make the 5th one real special?
Just called the boss a "cunt baguette". To her face. This is why I can't drink with people from work. Know of anywhere that's hiring?
He just said "I know you want my cock" and I said nah. I want food bro
Holding your hair back while you puked wasn't a choice. I was handcuffed to you.
DON NOT, UNDER ANY CIRCUMSTANCES WATCH CLOWN PORN.
Randomize