I just saw a girl make a shank with the underwire in her bra...
Just met a guy who has been in college for 7 years and still classified as a junior. Then watched him shotgun 10 beers. Found my new hero
Two girls are now jumping in the ocean naked at 10 PM...and I was just starting to hate Ocean City
i just used google streetview to figure out where i spent the night last night
SOME GIRL ON THE STAIRS IN FRONT OF ME JUST FARTED AND IT WENT STRAIGHT INTO MY MOUTH!
I'm thinking of writing "I have herpes" on my stomach in sharpie that way I'm not tempted to show my tits tonight
Just please never masturbate in my bed again. I'm burning my sheets as I write this.
So, we bought a knight today. Nearly life size. Hes in the garage, so don't be startled.
we got her to the bathroom intime. all she could say was 'now my bladder is empty just like my soul'
WTF? Why is there a pic of my tits in ur dad's office?
She's like the King Midas of sexual confusion. Everything she touches turns to gay.
He was nothing but deer-caught-in-headlight eyes and dick, it was adorable
He texted me "sup", so I sent him that gif of the surprised guy and apparently it offended him
Don't mind me, I'm just walking 2 miles across campus with no jacket, covered in highlighter, and carrying a hair extension. Gotta love miami!
Guess who just stumbled into work hungover, wearing yesterday's clothes, covered in hickeys and glitter, and carrying a giant bottle of rum in her purse.
I just took plan B at work.
This is the greatest story of all time.
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