everything was goin great until he pulled out his ed hardy lighter and smoked in my face like he was cool.
it's like you attract all the douchebags that nobody wants. people should thank you.
I just woke up to my FedEx of contacts I've been waiting for for about a week and my hungover ass went to the bathroom and used beer instead of contact solution.
Mango Malibu should win a nobel peace prize
So there's 10 guys in this picture..I've made out with 5 of them. does this make me a slut?
eh 50% isn't bad..i'd say 80% is slut material.
Anyways, i'm off to play with a rubber dick and a ouija board with two other girls...
What I wanna know is who took a picture eiffel towering her?
Do you know anything about the Easter basket sitting on my doorstep filled with porn and peeps?
Trust me. My penis has made more than enough decisions this weekend.
I lost track of him after he threw the handful of pennies at the 2 female cops and ran into the darkness. I heard a tazer and a scream. All that is left is his flip flop. Its like hes drunken man-derella.
spotted: something called the tunnel of opression. i feel like if we patricipated we wouldnt even be phased or we could run it better than them
Just took a piss in some random bushes in a traffic jam and had to sprint back to the car. I'm a boss.
I'm so proud of us for not dying.
We almost drove away from the bar with a British stranger in our trunk...
I legitimately just had to leave work because I am too hungover. The front office ladies keep making fun of me.
I have filthy fantasies involving his tongue. My vagina almost exploded while he was licking that ice cream cone.
Randomize
