On friday while at the hotel bar by myself (creepy) I made friends w/ a millionaire who said he may be running for the position of mayor in richmond va (likely a lie). At one point during our discourse he asked if I was crazy. In the effort of full disclosure I looked him in the eye and said yes
I don't know what prompted his inquiry, clearly this man had impeccable intuition
i half slept with him but i still dont owe you any money
My penis is the apex of life and all other references. Lookin for a cheap vagina at this point. And cheap Korean BBQ
And why did 3 people fail to stop me from literally getting a piggy back ride from the bar to his apartment?!
Did I happen to mention where i left my keys when I drunk dialed you last night
Holy christ fuck what has my trainwreck of a life come to just blew a 17 year old so help me god
sorry for the naked aussie man in your room last night, he got lost on his way to the bathroom
yeah dropping that class because i really don't want to be known as the girl who fell asleep in class and threw up as she walked out for an entire semester
However today I got my lube that might I add was dripping out of the box. I'd like to think my mailman was mixing business with pleasure.
He also turned out to be underage (the fucking liar) so we had to get drunk on cooking sherry
that's how you measure success
By how bad my vagina hurts on a Tuesday morning while I'm trying to figure out how I got white girl wasted on a Monday?
Im gonna go for the gay guy. The ginger is freaking me out.
I have an interview tomorrow! The couple we regularly swing with said I could use them as references. Winning
All you need is a handful of lube and an open mind
I don't want to just break his heart, I want to dip it in liquid nitrogen and then smash it until it's powder and snort the powder
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