Great. There's a birthday party at work today. Now I can stand around and feel uncomfortable for an hour.
Where??
Against the wall. In corner. Only gave him head though don't worry
Nights of college: 1. Virgins: 1. Yes.
i feel like even strangers are annoyed with me because of how drunk i was last night
Dude, she uses Old Spice. It smelled like I was eating out my grandfather.
He was wearing his Class of 2007 shirt so I sat there for 5 minutes and read all the names of the guys I can remember giving head to.
i don't understand how she was down there for so long, she's like a mermaid, a blowjob giving mermaid.
We probably shouldn't have forced that guys cat to drink the grey goose while we were doing lines in his bathroom
Is 'too horny to study' a good enough medical excuse to not take a final?
I have lots of feelings today, but drunk is my favorite.
Im not sure if the cops that just came are strippers or actually cops
If you're going to be single forever, you should try the quesalupas at Taco Bell.
He sent me a meme at 3am. Usually guys just send me booty calls that late. I think I'm in love
I would totally suck a dick for some poutine right now
Had a dream last night where I asked you how your Christmas was and your response was, “sex, man. Just lots and lots of sex.”
Good god. A spell so dry your friends actually commit it to their subconscious!
Randomize
