I only have two rules. But i've fotgotten those rules and replaced them w 2 other rules
Please, let me fuck your mom
he shaved USA in his pubs
I was debating whether her purse was real then I saw her puke in it.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Well the weddings in 4 days so I already got the eightball lined up and the wii fit all warmed up. Still wanna bet I wont lose 20 pounds by the wedding?
we're almost there. Shes pounding on the car window telling the nurse whos on a smoke break to fuck off.
ill be fine wheb you get back. I'm gunna do real world things like washing the dishes. having to perform serious tasks brings you down.
You had two tasks: \n1) put on a condom \n2) text me so I don't walk in on you \nIt really isn't that hard
I just watched in amazement as you had a full conversation about water temperature and bacteria with your pet goldfish.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Is there a coat check? I stole 10 vases of flowers along with two bottles of champagne and I'm not sure what to do with them.
I was hooking up with him and then someone banged on the door and shouted "When you get the chance, will you put the weed on the veranda?"
Drunk me has cost me a lot in cell phones...
I have alotted at least an hour for ugly crying.
Last night when we banged she had nothing else on but socks that said 'property of Jesus' on them.
Want to sleep. Also want to see Alex on MDMA doing really stupid shit. Choices...
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