I thought it couldn't get worse until she said "Nipple hair"
at least 'blackout me' had enough sense to take the puke covered duvet off the comforter.
Reason #57 I am going to fail the bar... it's Tuesday and i'm drunk at Toy Story 3.
I don't care how many kiddie pools are in our house. One is too many.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
The second I saw you stumbling down the stairs in a princess crown, I knew I had a friend for life.
Ok well I'll be up all night studying if you need a wake up call or a place to put your penis.
Does it count if I'm only ambidextrous while masturbating?
i was gonna do a lot worse than just throw cat food on you while you were passed out, but then you sleep vomited and i felt a little bad
I can feel my ovaries exploding thinking about them.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He seemed like a really nice guy. He tried to dry my shirt because someone spilled their drink on me. I think that's how I ended up topless on his dryer.
I'm sorry but I have WAY too many sex/ hookup related bruises on visible areas to be going home tmrw
Well that's the first time I've woken up with wet jorts
I just want to meet whoever runs the hall cameras
hahahaha I don't. Watch one day i'll be walking along and someone will stop me and say "oh you're that one girl who is out. of. control." But then they'd probably give me a high five.
I woke up this morning with a sharpie tramp stamp. Pretty sure it's a picture of a squirrel.
ugh I gave him morning sex and he doesn't even text me back for my bagel order
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