Heybabeimwearingurpanties
We basically counted to 3 and then dumped each other.
i found her turbo button.....if you know what i mean.
aparently i pased my english final. I don't even remember taking it.
I legit had to pull him off my car. Then he texted me saying 'take me places.' Shotgun getting that drunk tonight
there is beer in every square inch of this apartment and he hasn't even lived in it for 24 hours. we're playing some game that involves slamming beer, beer pong and smacking people's cups out of their hands.
Curled up in the fetal position, trying not to throw up or think about my future, and humming songs from musicals to myself. You?
We'll talk about this tommorrow when I'm not mistaking my fingers for French fries....
I get a nose bleed and my uncle is automatically giving me the "your doing lines off dashboards again aren't you" look
I went eBay shopping last night. Turns out I brought a Viking drinking horn. I can't even be mad.
Let's play "Guess What I Just Found In My Vagina?"
Some rando guy literally just put my shoes on and tied them for me because I'm drunk... Is this what it feels like to be a princess?
If I was a guy I'd keep a condom in my pocket, in my wallet, in my backpack, in my car, in my shoe, behind my fucking ear
I dunno what's worse, that one guy here said he'd blow somebody for Tim Horton's right now, or that someone else looks like they want to test his sincerity.
Come get me, I'm fucking scared.
Being an adult can't be all bad. I just took a vacation day solely to sit around and get stoned
Randomize
