We stole some shitttt from king sooper's. fuck yeaaa
what did you steal
frozen pizza, cat litter, and preperation H. not much different than my usual grocery list.
i haven't been laid since the bush administration. it's frustrating.
Some advice for success: 1) Go ugly early, it saves you time and money; 2) If you can't pork a princess, pound a pig for practice; and 3) Beauty is only a light switch away.
ur like the dr phil of bizarro world.
I am at the gas station and there is a whole amish family here I'm not sure why the amish need gas but I think its worth investigating
I guess so. I don't really give a fuck. I think I'm going to jerk off really loudly tonight just to keep them on their toes
your youtube search consisted of "food slideshow" and "the angry beavers"
is it a bad thing if he can only get off when i start talking like one of the girls from Jersey Shore??
That's the last time you call me to prove to some girl at a bar that you're English. It's bad enough that you actually get to fuck them because of it without having to wake me up to seal the deal.
Every time I get scared about the fact that I'm falling for him I remember that he juggles and is hung like a mastadon and everything is a-ok.
You need to come over. I cant get her to stop eating honey mustard straight from the squeeze bottle
it was either a cry for help or you were gargling vodka. we didnt care either way.
Just realized how sopa could affect my ability to watch porn, son of a bitch
i just deleted him from my phone. and yes... I did just text you this from less than 20 feet away.
I'm not judging.. I sure as hell am not getting out of my bed to come talk to you about this. but i support your decision
My TA is here with a sombrero and an entire bottle of Svedka. Skip jury duty.
Can you tell me why Star Wars Burlesque is pulled up on my phone from last night?
im questioning your sanity while also accepting your reality
Randomize
