Its a sad day when your bush has a better set of hair than you do
I'm not sure how exactly, but this funeral has turned into a ridiculous night of drinking games
I'm not an expert but calling her the "hot lesbian" isn't going to coerce her into a 3some with you
Jenny was looking for something soft to drink since it's only noon, she chose spiced rum. Think she might die today
I automatically know you're drunk now as soon as you start yelling in spanish
its official. the only way for my hair to look good is to blow somebody
1. Sorry about making it snow. 2. If it left a mess, I will be over to clean it. 3. Can that fire extinguisher still be used? If not, I'll buy a new one. 4. I just wanted to make it snow!
Apparently you missed the drunkest me ever documented. I slept on the hardwood floor and left my pants on the porch to give u a frame of reference.
Don't worry, I could have been accepted their by waving my dick at the admissions building.
That's good. Don't want to see you bellydancing in prison for homemade wine.
Yeah I ended up covered in the mud by the end, in a lady bug golf cart that was blasting jazz music with a dead phone
A dry HJ only, please. I don't deserve the comforts of lube after my horrendous fantasy football performance
I apparently pulled his dick out at the bar and started yelling "DICK PICS IN REAL LIFE!"
Her 4ft mother helped 5ft10 passed out me from the car to my girlfriend's bed at 1am...with whopper in hand
I just woke up, its 6AM and i'm pretty sure the guy passed out next to me is 70% ugly...
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