is it a bad thing if he can only get off when i start talking like one of the girls from Jersey Shore??
Send us your Text From Last Night!
When did we start counting Thursdays as weekends?
When we got our fake ids in grade 11, why?
I just feel like it's time to start counting wednesdays as well...
he asked me if i wanted "a hit" off his inhaler. its definitely time for a new roommate
you asked a group of latinas stood by the bar to hold a minutes silence for ugly betty getting cancelled. that drunk.
you are the best fuck buddy i could have, all the others get feelings and morals involved
Me + Nice restaurant + Copious amounts of booze + obscene comments to couples = valentine's day plans
She told me I reminded her of the fair. And she wanted to deep fry my dick and eat it.
When i walked in, you were in bed with a hot chick rolled up in a green blanket and said you were acting like a caterpillar..
she did the YMCA with her lgs... i think she forgot she wasnt wearing any underwear
Let's create a 16 and pregnant drinking game
Do you ever just KNOW it's gonna be a good day? I mean, like in a "just found a Vicodin in the bottom of your purse" kinda way?
i knew she was high when she broke up the cookies into her glass of milk and ate it like cereal
Thanks for the birthday present, i had so much fun playing with it
Are you talking about my vagina?
just threw up nine times in the shower.. solid night last night.
The trick is to not slur when purchasing the condoms at 3am
I've officially moved beyond college drinking. I just got business drunk at an internship seminar.
the whole city is out of plan b pills. this is the meanest game of musical chairs ever.
She asked how far humans have gone into a volcano because they did in spy kids. She was serious.
she asked if i had a condom...i said yes...when we finished it wasnt on...told her it was at home on my dresser.
You're having sex and i just smoked and made oatmeal...i'll give you some time to be jealous
If you dedicate your next bite to me, I'll dedicate my first orgasm to you.
The football player sitting in front of me just googled himself. Only 4 articles came up. That's why he plays at Utah State.
Just turned my microbiology homework into a drinking game. The words are getting blurry but I think we're really bonding.
Her vagina is like Vegas. high traffic and full of glitter.
i lost my phone in the process of getting a condom out of my hair
so he came over for the first time and i completely forgot i had pictures of him printed out from facebook on my wall and a newspaper article with him in it.. you can guess that it lead for an awkward situation.
That taco smell coming from your belly button was a huge turnoff
He just left me a message saying he left the rest of the weed for me. Did i just get paid for sex? And if yes did i just get paid in drugs?
Were not really friends so much as I suck his dick a lot
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