Texts From Last Night · Random Texts

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(714): View more from California

I can't believe I'm wasting this thong on a guy in a sweater vest.

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(941): View more from Florida

I may have a concussion but the symptoms are the same as a hangover so I can't tell. Best 21st ever.

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(607): View more from New York

I Just paid off the bartender to help me convince this chic my roommate's gay. This is the best cockblock ever.

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(847): View more from Illinois

Just tried to chase Captain Morgan with water...this whole drinking alone business is getting harder to do.

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23 Strangest Things That Gave Dudes A Boner
Read it at the TFLN blog
(610): View more from Pennsylvania

Things found in my vomit last night: cell phone, Von Hayes rookie card, a boot, my dignity

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(415): View more from California

You tried feeding my python vodka through a funnel. Fuck off.

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(774): View more from Massachusetts

Just bought a beer belt to complete the Captain America outfit. I will do my part as a hero of America to pass out beer to the good citizens of America.

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(207): View more from Maine

You know how I know she's ugly? 97% of her profile pics are flowers or animals. And what do we know about pretty people and the Internet?

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(541): View more from Oregon

If you wake up with half a an eyebrow.... I'm pretty sure it was a good time.

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