I hope so. I just start to question my lifestyle when i pee on coffee tables
I can't believe im sexting my roommate. This is really what my life has come to
i was about to rearrange the room but realized that this is the only efficient setup where we can have sex while the other one's asleep without them accidentally seeing.
Yeah, all the sudden I heard a loud "ding" and realized I had been passed out on the dorm elevator for about an hour....
I just woke up to pictures of every angle of his dick I'll ever need to see.
We ended up getting arrested after we flagged down the cops for a ride home with open beers in our hands... turns out the "nobody told me" excuse doesn't cut it anymore
Freshmen girls are like potato chips you can't have just one.
This is your morning news. Today at 5 pm I will be going out of town until the 29th. If you would like some great sex before I leave, please contact me. The available packages are: a house call, an outdoor excursion, or a delivery style in-car quickie. available only while supplies last.
No I can't cure herpes. I'm an EMT, not Jesus.
In other more interesting news I'm going to arrange a surprise orgy. You in?
First of all you're supposed to say "you're not fat". And second of all never ever deprive me of nachos.
seriously, i never want to drink Robitussin again. her face was melting as i tried to convince her i wasnt high and i probably would have fucked ray. his parents thought i was a sweet charming lesbian.
This is why you are not allowed out in public.
and everyone will high five me and girls will approach me offering blowjobs
She showed me her tits outside Taco Bell....After she flashed the dude working there in an effort to get in.
Goddamn it. Hes got me addicted to his penis
Randomize
