Dude love is like an itch. You fuckin scratch it, then it itches more, then you scratch it and it itches more, and before you know it, there is semen everywhere.
you are insane
dude she licked ball and has every Are you afraid of the dark episode on dvd
lock that shit down
He was putting purell on my boobs saying "they need to be clean for later." He hadn't had a drink all night
I just looked at my iPhone gps history... "the gas station", "the park with a big scary fence", "the trampoline", and, my favorite, "where we were when we were about to do lines off a bible".
I was arrested last night for attempting to flee and elude. I wasn't really trying to run from the police. I was drunk and lost in the woods. I thought it was pretty obvious when I was waving at them from my puddle of puke that I wasn't really hiding.
Ill give you a 4 hour blow job if you make my nephew go to bed.
No seriously stop! I feel bad for him. It isn't even big enough to make fun of. It's so small that it's like a disability.
I just wanna be like "dude your gf's on a porn site" but i just dont know if i have the heart.
The only thought that went through my head was "that would be an absolute disaster" so of course I said yes
I'm petty sure you said "hold on let me make my nipples hard, they look better"
Worst walk of shame man. They had a fire drill at 7am, had to walk out of her all girl dorm wearing my Everday I'm Hustling sweater
Yeah he told me he wanted a serious relationship, but he's posting pictures of his dick on Kik.
Walked into the bathroom and saw a Minion eating out Harley Quinn so this Halloween will be hard to top.
There are twenty eight units in that building. There has to be at least one heterosexual in it. You can't have fucked your way through all of it.
Is it acceptable to respond to a declaration of love with 'and I love your dick'? Asking for a friend who shares a name and possibly a phone number with me. Entirely coincidental.
Randomize
