we dont do blackfin have a good night :)
my vagina has a 5:00 shadow
let's bang
You're in my phone as 'Weird Bus Guy' so I think my answer's no.
we are driving next to a guy driving and masturbating while looking at a naked magazine. I love LA
Please don't tell anyone I peed on your wall.
please stop telling ppl youre Alice Cullen when youre drunk
Oh. Im drinking alone in a banana costume. Every time youre feeling down, i want you to think of me right now and know that your life is better than mine.
I am a mess. Weirdest thing: I woke up with a hammer under my pillow. No idea why.
They asked me to help them shop for lingerie.
Tell them everything looks awful, makes their ass look fat, etc. You'll wreck their self esteem and likely both have sex with you to make themselves feel better.
You're the most understanding sister I could ever ask for.
I NEED TO NOT REMEMBER THIS IN THE MORNING. He is our TEACHER.
Having drunken flash backs of me giving you a piggy back ride. I was like Jesus, and you were my cross. I fell so many times for you. This is true friendship.
Look on the bright side. Now you know the number for poison control.
cassie wtf are you alive??! no one has seen you for like seven hours whereeee did you go
IS IT POSSIBLE FOR A GUY TO NOT HAVE BALLS
So apparently someone caught him as he was falling. And carried him around the rest of the night.
I have experienced an excessively hairy ballsack in my mouth...and it was horrifying. I keep feeling it in my mouth now. It's like hairy ball PTSD.
Randomize
