you're bored at work aren't you?
I'm toying with the idea of beating off under my desk
im so drunk with asians
where?
always
Yeah, you spent an hour in front of the mirror trying to reenact the Sailor Moon theme song.
So I just used shazaam to figure out a pairs figure skating song. I don't think I could get any gayer.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i don't think my life will be extraordinarily more meaningful if i let him put his tongue in my butthole.
Nothing says "I'm a sorority girl" like puking at 830 in the am, wearing my anti-hazing pin, and getting ready for a tea party.
Buying a large dominoes pizza for a wasted 3 mile walk is the best bad idea ever. My mouth is on fire, probably broke my hand, and i may or may not have eaten street pizza.
How did you break your hand eating pizza?
Boxes are hard to see rocks through.
Oh. And what's the twitter protocol for following the guy you blew behind a shed?
Why is your name on a gluestick in a plastic baggy stuck to my door?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I said I was going to sleep an hour ago. Now I'm making plans to get high with the guy who mows your lawn.
I don't have patience to seek someone out and try to decipher whether or not I think I'd want to actually have their dick in my face.
We are going to the humane society and getting you microchipped so you don't get lost on your birthday. Either that or your getting a child leash
I woke up still drunk to a beautiful tattooed columbian man making me pancakes. How's your memorial day?
You're right, I'd say my real all time low was when I let that fifteen-year-old feel my boob.
Idk... I'm not sure why anyone would use a flesh light in general. Let alone hook it up to a wifi device.
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