you know you've been playing too much mario kart when you see a curve in the road ahead and see yourself drifting around it
whats the weirdest thing you ever masturbated to?
King Triton
What can i say im a girl who smells like weiners.
My vagina makes bad decisions like its her job
I found a picture of my kindergarten class. Now you can see whose peer pressure I succumbed to.
Just had a flashback of you announcing "your nipples aren't that big for the size of your boobs, I've seen them"
We left your bucket of puke on your doorstep to clean out yourself. You're welcome.
Around noon tomorrow come looking for me. I'll be on Mill wearing whatever clothes I haven't lost yet. DO NOT REPLY. DO NOT ASK QUESTIONS. JUST DO IT.
So I am guessing last night was a success we are all accounted for and only 3 of us have hospital bracelets on
I need to think of the best way to tell this boy he's not getting his pants back
My whole house smells like Spaghetti-Os and cat litter. I think I've failed as an adult.
He's drunk and I'm pain-killer high and we're about to watch fireworks at disney world. It's gonna be fucking magical
He came back with a Butterfinger and vibrator batteries. There's no refusing him now.
OMG he dropped his pants for me. Granted it was to show me where he got stabbed but still...
Just to clarify, i'm coming over for tacos not a threesome
Randomize
