you keep denying me to hang out, should i take a hint?
you keep asking me after midnight, should i take a hint?
am i the only one who has tried sucking their own cock????
i just yelled "run, its godzirra!" to an asian kid who looked confused by the tornado alarm test
So. Camera broke because I tried to wash it under the sink, kristi had to take me home and I woke up to my computer showing me that I googled how t take more than one shot at a time. I'd say the night was a success.
WISH UPON A TAMPON
They constantly get farther than me.
tampons.
I love having hate sex.
My 16 year old coworker just told me I should take my job more seriously after she watched me puke in the backroom trash can. Fuck teenagers with morals.
and if my full six pack comes in by Halloween there is no stopping the man slut costume. I have no shame
How did I end up in the pool?!
Welcome to ASU
I'm not sure which is more depressing, the fact that the hospital is making me put together a living will before surgery, or that all i'll be leaving behind is 25k in student loan debt
I bought 2 40s with winning lottery tickets and they paid me $.03. 'Merica
we are blowing up condoms and making balloons and we’re drunk on the floor. You could have come to school here
Best case scenario: sex with hot bartender \nWorst case scenario: no sex and punched by tattooed guy that may or may not be said bartenders boyfriend.
Fuck I think I want to but I don't think I should. Caught between should and wanting.
just follow your vagina
Quote of the day.
Currently eating a pop tart in my underwear waiting for the washer. Not one of my prouder moments.
Randomize
