How do I get over judging people who I would be exactly like if I had a boyfriend
Get a boyfriend
Send us your Text From Last Night!
Ambien. No doubt about it.
There are 3 speedbumps now up. Think you can manage the urge to piss on them?
Aw shit! That's like putting me a in a room full of Captiain Crunch Donuts and Jasper Hale and not letting me put my mouth on either.
U r making out with a 12 year old get ur shit together
Remember ______, girl, blonde, one of my roommates the first year of ________?
Yeah we hooked up in the top bunk bed while simultaneously having a conversation with u, so yeah, I remember her
I puked in a mailbox on the way back from your house.
That chick was all over your bacon last night, grinding on you, I thought you were going to bang her in the club
Dude it was a lap dance
she was wearing a cheetah print one-piece and i slept with her anyway. big mistake.
we had that weird still in bed morning after conversation. Her dad is the vp of my company.
just witnessed a squirrel raping another squirrel. i couldn't look away.
Gayer than 8 guys blowing 9 guys
wow, that really makes you stop and think.
I just barfed on his mom.
You told him you were too drunk to meet his parents. Totally his fault.
Fun fact: when I ripped off my wristband, I punched myself in the face. Rad
very cute, but more "I wanna put you in my pocket and keep you as a pet" and less "please bang me" type of cute.
