I passed out in the cab. Woke up to the cabby yelling SIR SIR WE ARE AT THE TRAIN STATION!! SIRRRR!!
Send us your Text From Last Night!
It's Friday. Sex?
Ummmm the art teacher neighbor asked me to pose nude for her art class for cash.
yep. he's not circumcised. how did it take me six months to realize THAT?
Hey, what are you up to?
Drinking wine with the guys and watching 7 Pounds.
Looking back I guess I could have changed that to beer and Die Hard.
Why are you at a bar in Connecticut?
Long story. One that now involves lots of delicious chicken wings om nom nom
I would have at least made out with you if you were showered.
i just went dwnstairs and there are 5 guys without their shirts on hugging each other. i think i should leave now
I blacked out in 45 minutes and woke up with a missed call from someone I saved in my phone as the karate kid.
Bro can a girl get pregnant if i jizz in her mouth?
hahahahahahahahahahaha
I just hope my dad was drunk enough to not remember the whole convo we had about anal.
If facebook stalking was a job I would totally pown it
Whore.
I was being facetious
Don't try to hide behind big words.
My penis looks like a roll of pennies
Oh. Ok. I get the hint.
Like a roll of pennies where the paper got wet & then dried all wrinkly and weird...
