Say my name once during sex just to fuck with her. Like when it gets rough.
Send us your Text From Last Night!
I just walked in on my mom and dad......It wasn't my dad
Her mom drove me home after I blew a .13 So there I am wishing her mom a happy mother's day sitting in the passenger seat where I just banged her daughter 15 min prior
Another night of drunkeness. Maybe I shouldn't have played death pong...
Didn't you just get a DUI last week?
Indeed I did but death didn't stop Jesus now did it
i wants your nipples near my face. PLEASE????
I just got asked by a man in the alley if i would like to buy 50 dollars of meat for 20 bucks. Its been a weird day.
he confessed his love for me, threw up on my pillow and then fell asleep on said pillow. i met him last night.
better than last weekend. things are really looking up for you.
Yeah, it wasn't as bad as I thought. I tried not to clench and things went pretty smoothly.
This random guy asked me if I had downs. I was like up yours! And I got out of his car.
...so i touched it.
Never fear I pulled out... she had "lies about taking birth control" written all over her
i took some ambien and I TRIPPED out...i went into my mom's room to say goodnight and i don't remember anything...she said that i got really pissed at her because we were living in the Keebler elf tree and she was visiting other trees, then i started laughing hysterically and she goes "whats so funny?" and i go "there are 7 people sitting on my knees" and she goes "doesn't that hurt?" and i said "no we're sitting in a bowl" and then i capped it off and said "join the crazy train bro" and passed out.
my penis was classy and tasteful, i don't know what her problem was.
I tried to gradually lead her into my room but she wouldn't stop crying and quoting memoirs of a geisha
