they just dont make restraining orders like they used to.
The reason halloween exists is because it's not cheating if you're wearing a costume.
Never again let me pretend to be australian for free booze.
his recent searches consisted of "World record for not bathing" and "Miley Cyrus vs Taylor Swift". Not even i am that desperate.
Ran into my prostitute at Costco yesterday. She was with her boyfriend, I was with my kids. Awwwwkward.
And then I interrupted the father of the groom, to ask if she was "ballet or pole" in the middle of his story about his niece, the dancer.
Im blasting "Fat Bottom Girls" as loud as humanely possible in attempts that old ladies doing water aerobics will take the hint and get the fuck out of the pool.
Its what im here for. Critiquing penis photos.
I swear my vagina formed calluses just to deal with how big he is
Apparently he crashed because 3 different girls were trying to give him road head at the same time.
Dude he fell into my wall and left an imprint then decided to have sex with the door open. Vents carry noise pretty well
This is a sacred holiday in the land of the free! I do what I want!
Now all I have unanswered questions and a fucked up finger
Why thank you for your unwanted opinion, person I've never met before.
Something like, "Merry Christmas. I hope Santa shits in your mouth."?
Randomize
