If Curt Schilling could pitch a game with that blood-filled sock... if Tiger Woods won the 2008 US Open with a torn ligament, then I'd be an embarrassment to the human race if I couldn't manage to at least jerk him off even if I was still crying after he put it in my butt.
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she tasted like a mixture of sweat and destiny
I think a homeless person took a bath in my mouth while I was sleeping :(
Evryone should know as good ramen noodle cooked in beer sounds... its not
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Its not like he dircectly choose a cheeseburger over sex, it was more like I said seductively "I really appreciate this and I'm going to make it up to you anyway I can" and he replied "i want a bacon cheeseburger"
i guess he just knew i was going to sleep with him either way
just bought miller high life, hungry man dinners, and a bottle of lube. you win life, you win.
That level of neurosis does not find love outside of Grey's Anatomy.
Those strippers last night smelled great. It was the perfect mixture of vanilla and daddy issues.
Todays outfit involves shorts with embroidered fish. This kids gonna die.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Great date with Damon, but I'm not sure if telling him I like lesbian porn is a good second date discussion.
If a guy called my cleavage "mesmerizing" but is kinda related to me, does it still count?
Riddle me this. What had unbelievable sex, and finally understands the meaning that things come better in pairs?
I hate you
my new favorite insult= "thundercunt"
She said as long as i don't wake her up she doesn't care what hole i use.
Got yourself a keeper right there.