my entire walk over here no one looked in my eyes. Period Boobs are BAACKKK.
A stripper just got mad at me for saying goddammit. She's in no position to lecture me on morality
MCAT status: Day 64, no longer can remember what sex is like.
They had an entire room dedicated to passed out people. It was like a dogpile of cross faded toddlers drooling on each other.
Like I said I'm looking on the bright side. The bright side just happens to be filled with penis attached to hot marines
I had ketchup on my elbow and a random girl goes "I got it" and licked it off, only on game day
He just told me that when we were doing it I told him I was the captain and he was the boat. Im too embarassed to ask for money for a cab.
Monday morning margarita madness at ny house. Yes before wheel of fortune. Yes day drinking.
Can't. I took a Viagra to make sure I wouldnt leave the room so I might actually study.
This is most sickening thing I've ever seen, and I threw up my body weight in jello shots on my birthday.
You went home with a man in a loincloth
I just watched him leave in half a loincloth. Don't you just love Halloween???
I really hope you didn't eat the bowl of melted vanilla ice cream I left on the coffee table. Because it is not melted vanilla ice cream.
So red wine goes with eggs, right? Because that's all I have in the house to cook and the drinking options are either wine or scotch
Ive decided to see your threat against my life as you flirting
...Just hit my fuck buddy with my car.
Randomize
