Why are there so many empty soda cans in my room?
You put them in a circle around your bed and said it was the best way to ward of the witches from hocus pocus....then you remembered you needed salt too. I'm assuming you havent gone to the bathroom yet.
Send us your Text From Last Night!
I woke up this morning to 4 booty call texts. So i am trying to find the sign that says i like to sit on cocks so that i can take it off.
trust me, i wonder where that sign is on a daily basis.
Bts the comment you were making during that picture was "look we have penises"
well my last 2 orgasms were over shoe sales at macy's. what does that tell you?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i told him i was on my period. he said, and i quote "can we not just lay down some newspapers or something?"
Dude, TWO hot chicks on jeopardy tonight. gonna be a good one
Dude, I am so turned on right now. Hot chick with glasses from brooklyn is absolutely crushing right now, taking whole categories. might beat off to jeapordy...
do another line during during the commercial and make the magic happen during double jeopardy.
fighting downstairs. join me tonight to hear their makeup sex. also, let's make skittles vodka.
Definitely locked eyes with the stripper who gave me a lapdance last night as she walked by me and into the Ann Taylor Loft in Times Square.
there is a homeless man oan crack poledancing on a fence... now hes humping it...
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
conclusion of the day: americans need to get on tredmills, people need to learn how to flush toliets and learn how to pee in then instead of on them, and waiters shouldnt tell their life stories to customers.
why is every porn film shot in the same house? with the same red couch!?!
A homeless man in dtwn SF was blasting lil wayne and singing at the top of his lungs. I kinda wanted to give him my life savings
Just found a copy of intimate toy times in my mom's trash can...
Black thong, sheer white shorts not a professional look. This chick has no idea what sunlight makes her outfit look like.