just bought miller high life, hungry man dinners, and a bottle of lube. you win life, you win.
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yes, but water doesn't get you drunk. no one drinks miller light for the taste.
high life sucks try again tomorrow.
Water is cheaper than miller light and tastes about the same, poor move imo
jared brock is a winner at life
All you're missing is the DVD set of Star Trek and you have yourself a friday night masturbation special!
Haha! I would swear this was my ex - but he lives in 978.
the whole "you win life" joke is so stupid i can't stand it
This text message seems like it needs a follow-up the next day. Something like, "Woke up naked in a puddle of lube, surrounding by beer cans and microwave dinner trash."
sad night, glad I moved from the east bay. I could've had this poor guy for a neighbor.
LMAO 1:03 well played.....well played
I always keep praying that more emo kids will lose to the razor
So this is site is supposed to be about funny drunk texts, right? And yet this shit gets posted- some loser planning his fun-filled night of drinking by himself, eating dinner alone, and the proceeding to jerk off.... HMMMM. For some reason it just doesn't add up.
why the fuck do all my hilarious texts from the east bay get rejected while this shit gets posted?
i swear to god the people on this site want to make the east bay look like its full of idiots
12:54, oh, you'll stand it some more. Life will make sure of that.
Reppin that pleasanton... Too bad it is a terrible text