Having dinner with my dad, watching the news and some AIDS prevention ad comes on. My dad then kindly informs me that he doesn't enjoy the feel of condoms.
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and those juicy C cups turned out to be oddly-shaped A's when her padded bra came off.
Fat chicks shouldn't bartend
Is it sad that the only reason I haven't lapsed into depression is that I'm prettier than her?
Nah, we all need something.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
did it hurt when the cum got in your eye
not so much hurt, more like a stinging sinsation like mouthwash
Note to self. Condoms are not microwavable.
i either bought an eighteen year old girl or i'm engaged to her... i'm not quite sure
Last night I saw a drag queen take a shot of Red Hot that was soaked into a tampon. I fucking love my life!
We even fucked WHILE he was making me breakfast in bed.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
That girl would be great looking if she lost 1000 pounds and cut off her head.
She knew it was going down when I had her search for "condoms" in my iPhone Maps.
Nyc is like a mosaic of my failed dates.
You know that bakery that Sandra Bullock's sister owns?
The one in Montpelier?
yeah, well it doesn't exist anymore. VT's one fucking claim to fame closed.
i now know from two sources i am better at making out and giving head than she is. and not by a little either.