I need like a "Cookong High for Idiots" book. Or a car.
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Mmmm, vodka for breakfast
Remember, sex is not sex til both people cross the finish line. Until then, it is just a favor.
That girl would be way hotter if she changed her face.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Just passed a sign for an "adult food and fuel superstore". Wtf does that even mean?
im not sure but a few things come to mind which just makes me giggle
Guys should not giggle. Ever.
If Jon and Kate can get divorced...how hard can it be for me?
I find it ironic that homeless people are so good in bed
she pooed on me. she actually pooed on me.
It smells like Drakkar Noir and desperation out here.
That's why you should quit smoking.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I enjoy that i have a whole shelf of clothes that I've accumulated from random sex. You know the ones you get to make the morning after look less awkward like similar to an athletes trophy shelf
I'm pretty sure my roommate has taken plan B more times than i've had sex. Not sure how that makes me feel.
my house keeper must think I'm a prostitute.
he believed the zit on my nose was a piercing...until he tried to bite it. needless to say he didnt ask for my number
the best part about tonight...knowing when i wake up in the morning his car will still be full of packing peanuts..and mine wont