I’m once again drinking at eight am on a Sunday in my tutu. This garment is literally my best purchase ever.
Send us your Text From Last Night!
My mom just told me that the key to a successful marriage is never seeing your partner take a shit.
Your brother just successfully got half the bar mostly naked
can we please move this conversation out of my vagina?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
The weather is perfect in Seattle right now. Warm enough for girls to not wear bras, but cold enough for me to see them nipping out in the shade.
once we finished he held up the condom and asked if i wanted to keep it as a souvenir.
oh and he was serious.
if this week's events in iraq have taught me anything, it's that when pulling out, always expect a mess...
Never name a vibrator after ashton kutcher
final count. 18 beers. 4 shots baileys. 2 shots vodka. 1 glass champagne. vomited in the yard after losing my phone in a field for 8 hours. Possibly played tag with myself
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Im mastering the way to pass gas silently.
New boss looks like john cusack in a collar. Hot. Why do i always want to have sex with priests?
when im not freaking out about dying alone and unloved, i actually really enjoy being single
i guess its not very common for a paramedic to have to revive someone who was struck by a falling shampoo bottle while getting off from the bathtub faucet.
just saw ex-bf. should he be more embarrassed to be a college dropout working at rite aid or should i be because i was buying newports and rembrant?
tie