Come over? It's my birthday
How many times has that text failed you tonight?
Send us your Text From Last Night!
and in the morning, while we were eating breakfast, she was all " i think someone sneezed into my shirt..." she'll never know.
I think i found my new favorite workout. Go to a party where you dont know anybody and constantly walk around the house so you dont look awkward standing alone. im up to 1.8 miles
broke, out of weed, out of gas, out of food, and my gf just left me.
you're writing country songs now?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i now know how you feel when you have to walk me home. she ran into a streetlight and into garbage.
There is no way he is gay with that hair.
Everything we own is covered in grass and KY
I actually told the people in the movie theatre to give me a cup and I would dip water from the toilet before I paid $4.50 for a bottle of water.
You say "arrested with two drunk girls" like it's a bad thing....
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
yah I made NO friends last night. at one point i think i replaced talking with spitting
He lasted like 30 seconds. With a condom. I just expected more from the president of a frat.
I just woke up my dad to tell him that i made out with the drummer. He wasnt as excited as I was.
If i could bang her from 80ft away, I would
I just saw a San Diego firetruck. No wonder they can't figure out how to fight wildfires if they get so fucking lost they end up in Nebraska.