I just bought a large Pizza and Xanex in the same store...my night is complete
Send us your Text From Last Night!
If you don't sleep with him after showing him your thong with the bow, I am no longer on your side.
Dude I'm telling you, conditioner is the best for jerking it in the shower. It feels great and afterwards everything is all smooth
if I'm ever single again, I swear to god I'm going to have 87 venerial diseases
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
the liability waiver did not state that i couldn't bring my bottle of wine in the bouncy castle. it did Not.
My balls are so social today.
never try to heat up a hot pocket in the dryer if ur microwave breaks...bad idea.
I'm sorry, but you without makeup is like christmas without presents.
Never drink rum straight from the bottle, even if people say it'll make you a pirate. It won't: it'll make you a bumbling shitfaced idiot who just drank rum straight from the bottle.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
John tries to set me up, and she has 1 arm. I'm a nice guy, but 2 arms is kinda a requirement
Not only did I see you last night, you had me help you meet women by convincing them you were deaf and only I understood your sign language
how do we leave politely?
Tell them I'm going into labor. I will spill a beer and tell them m water broke.
it's not gay if you rub your penis between their butt cheeks and pretend they are tits
You poured sparks in your panties and NOW you're wondering why you have a UTI?