Were we dating when my roommates and I had the 'everyone gets laid' part?
I used to kick so much ass
Send us your Text From Last Night!
Alarm just got pulled in my exam
Swear it wasn't me
1:12am: That's just how i roll, and this dress she is wearing is dirty and needs to get pulled over her head.
Fucking hipsters really piss me off man. They are just such punk as bitches, all of them. Oh, and fuck Ed Hardy too.
16 People Who Have Raised The Bar For Petty Revenge
She's perfect. Funny, gorgeous, 3 tats, been through a lot, bright. I'm in love.
I'm drinking on the job... HEAVILY
Def gonna have stinky sex sometime soon. GOT TO! she has eligible friends for you, as well.
Hey, do you have a beer bong you could drop off at my little brother's place?
She had hickeys... what's up with that?? HAHAHA
Here’s Why Hotel Photos On Travel Websites Are A Complete Hoax
Do you feel that fire radiating from matt's crotch for you
Gross. gingers suck
Are you dead
Someone fed me too many chicken nuggets and sexed me too hard
1:32a: I quit. signing up for eharmony. Don't judge
He's been sleeping iwht ***
Yeah I don't even know how, she looks like her mom smoked crack while she was in the womb
And then hit her in the face with a shovel
belinda wants 2 know wr u got ur butt pads
i dont wear butt pads that thang is au naturel