just printed 333 ways to get kicked out of wal-mart. hello thursday night.
Send us your Text From Last Night!
Jesus people on campus asked me what i do for joy. I said i love sinning especially pre-marital sex.
as i creep her facebook pics from back in the day till now, i noticed that her lazy eye has gotten better
Either she got face surgery at midnight, or i need to stop drinking...
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Just found a hundred dollar bill on the ground. Hope you're looking to drink tonight
Margaritas ran out of lime juice. Substituted Jaeger. Jaegerita not good.
Microwave minutes are longer than normal minutes.
My entire childhood was an ugly sweater party
Just took career test that listed librarian and bartender as top career choices. Fascinating.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
She calls her new ritual "bed, bath, and beyond crunk". Hence why I found her passed out in my bath tub this morning.
My therapist says she wants to work on my 'trust issues'. I think she's found the cash cow within.
i luv seein jocks study. its like watching monkeys masturbate.
i'm using a wine bottle as a spitter. how classy is that.
Im doing kagels to the beat of Christmas music... "Jingle Bells" is hard. Try it.